Comedian Frank DeLima, not one to ignore a community (or in this case a national) dilemma, takes on the TSA and its current probe-the-body approach to airport security with a just-out parody sung to the tune of The Chipmunks “Witch Doctor” hit from yesteryear.
I nearly fell off my seat, when he sang this particular verse:
“His hands went everywhere, they patted high and low,
“They went from here to there, and searched me head to toe,
“Then he put the back of his hand where it shouldn't go,
“And I said ...
“Oo, ee, oo ah ah,
“Ting tang,
“Wala wala bing bang. ...”
Also note that DeLima puts himself smack dab in the middle of the radar — and furor — in his final verse. Choice!
DeLima and his writing partner, Patrick Downes, continue to immortalize, via parody, a number of timely benchmarks in Island history. Remember the last earthquake-blackout day (“Bad Day”) or Furlough Fridays (“Day-0”)?
Like the earlier ones, “I Saw the TSA” can be downloaded free at DeLima’s website, www.frankdelima.com. A voluntary contribution to his student program may be made, but not required.
Surely, DeLima will perform his newest novelty song at his Dec. 10 Christmas concert, from 6 p.m., at the Pagoda Hotel’s C’est Si Bon ballroom. For reservations, check his website or call the Pagoda at 948-8370.

Here are the lyrics:
“I Saw the TSA”
(Sung to "Witch Doctor")

I saw the TSA, he told me what to do
Take off your belt, your hat, your jacket and your shoe
And stand right there and do not move until I'm through.
And I went ...

Oo, ee, oo ah ah,
Ting tang,
Wala wala bing bang,
Oo ee, oo ah ah,
Ting tang,
Walawala bang bang

His hands went everywhere, they patted high and low,
They went from here to there, and searched me head to toe,
Then he put the back of his hand where it shouldn't go,
And I said ...

Oo, ee, oo ah ah,
Ting tang,
Wala wala bing bang,
Oo ee, oo ah ah,
Ting tang,
Walawala bang bang
He said "We need one scan," and my expression sank,
He said "No shame brah! It makes your face a blank!"
But then, behind the screen, a voice said: "Look! It's Frank!"
And it said ...

Oo, ee, OO LA LA,
Ting tang,
Wala wala bing bang,
Oo ee, oo ah ah,
Ting tang,
Walawala bang bang

Oo, ee, OO LA LA,
Ting tang,
Wala wala bing bang,
Oo ee, oo ah ah,
Ting tang,
Walawala bang bang