Dog Chapman makes an appearance on "Hawaii Five-0."
It couldn’t have been the worst combination of elements on Monday’s (March 18) episode of CBS’ “Hawaii Five-0.”
Consider the collision of forces that, gulp, sent Steve McGarrett & Company on a downward glide by Nielsen’s night's end:
First, Mama McG Doris — played by Christine Lahti — returned for yet more puzzling screen time and friction with McG, enacted, of course, by Alex O’Loughlin. What up here? Isn’t she moving on, to play the captain of the “Beverly Hills Cops” that CBS is rebooting, with Eddie Murphy?
Second, there was the peculiar but happily brief reality-show arrival of Dog Chapman and family, playing themselves (who else would portray ‘em?) and, yes, out on a chase. Who let the Dog in?
Third, roller derby — which may be on a slight uptick amid audience interest, but come on, that’s a flash from the past — with Catherine (Michelle Borth), dispatched to do undercover work? Where is the love she’s supposed to have with McG?
Kinda makes you wonder if “Five-0” wants to be “the biggest loser” of the Monday night derby.
The ratings said it all: ABC’s “Castle” was No. 1 at 9 p.m. (10 p.m. Mainland), with 11.2 million viewers and a 7.1/12 ranking for the 18 to 49 demographics, followed by “Five-0” with 8.75 million and a 5.6/9 demo, and NBC’s finale of “Deception” in third with 3.6 million and a 2.3/4 demo. “Castle” was the 18-49 leader with a 2.2.
These preliminary figures include the overnight tally plus same-day DVR viewing.
“Castle” posted its best audience of the season, fueled by the spring return of ABC’s “Dancing With the Stars,” which woefully lacks real stars, don't you think? And whoa, the notable absence of the fabulous Maks (Maksim Chmerkovskiy) this year — he opted to skip “DWTS” this year, not surprisingly. Maybe "Five-0" can offer him a Dog-like cameo, in a dancing show.
On “Five-0,” there was the bounty hunter, in a curious encounter with McG.
“First time you beat us to a crime scene; what’s up, Dog?” McG asked.
“Hey Steve McGarrett. How ya doing?,” said Dog. “I was wondering when we’d run into ‘Five-0.’”
We were wondering why, why, why?
Was this a promo for the Dog’s upcoming CMT reality return next month in “Dog and Beth: On the Hunt”?
Since the episode was called “Na Ki’I (The Dolls),” the skating wahine took centerstage, the team included some real-life jammers and blockers with the Leahi Diamond Dolls. More molls than dolls, don’tcha think?
Anyway, the intrigue was the death of one of the skating dolls.
The big concern for “Five-0” and even “Castle” will be the return of season two of “Revolution” next Monday (March 15) on NBC. The episode, entitled “The Stand,” begins where season one ended: a chopper rises from afar, chasing the gang as bullets start flying; the targets run for shelter in a building, but the chopper fires away and the whole shebang goes up in fire and smoke. Whew!
There’s an intensity building on Monday night; maybe a new ratings war. And survival and longevity are at stake. With the shaky, disappointing performance and ratings of “Five-0” this year, I would hope that some kind of fierce defense and retort are being readied for the battle ahead.