Show and Tell Hawai'i

Could an improbable dream work for 'Hawaii Five-0'?

October 9th, 2013

Melissa McCarthyWhen neither Grace Park nor Scott Caan showed up at the Sunset on the Beach launch of  “Hawaii Five-0’s” fourth season here recently, I wondered why they lacked the allegiance and team spirit to walk the red carpet along with  Alex O’Loughlin and Daniel Dae Kim.

No reason had been given — working on the Mainland, illness, disinterested, whatever — as far as I could ascertain. I’m sure there was a valid excuse, but asking H50 offcialdom  for an explanation was pointless ... since they’re always mum about the personal lives of the acting crew. You’d think Tannya Joaquin, in one her gushing moments  on Hawaii News Now, might tell us, but then she’s solely interested in McGarrett.

Maybe it’s none of our business anyway. But it’s no secret Park prefers her native Canada than our Honolulu; her absence, it turns out, was motherhood. Since she isn't travel-friendly yet, the show has gone to her for filming in Vancouver. Still, you gotta wonder if she really wants to continue to come back to live and work in Hawaii.

And we know, even if he’s apologized, how Caan feels about his workplace

Grace Parkduring the filming season. He's had charity priorities that prevented him from making the H50 launch. Not a big deal...

I bring all  this up because a few nights later, I had a curious dream that is worth sharing, if only for chuckles.

I dreamed that Park had been replaced by an unlikely actress, who already has her own series on the same CBS network, so you know it ain’t true. But  it was such a lightning rod of a notion, I thought just maybe, somebody should drop a hint, just in case Park is on the skids, or wants to bail out by choice.

Don’t laugh at my dream, but I imagined that Melissa McCarthy was tapped as her replacement. She’d bring a bounty of energy and calamity to the set, don’tcha think, based on her notable credits to date: “Bridesmaid,”  where she tried to put a new use to  the kitchen sink; “Identify Theft,” where she stole not only a guy’s identity, but walked away with film’s accolades; “Mike and Molly,” her hit sitcom where her keen humor and humility touches the heart, week after week, though not seen so far this season (see below); and “The Heat,” her unexpected summer popcorn flick where she had gravity and gravitas despite the rampant façade of lunacy alongside Sandra Bullock, both portraying bickering cops in pursuit of crime and punishment — the buddy film with two savvy women instead.

Perhaps that’s the booster shot H50 needs as it transits into a syndicated show — another soul mate who can hold her own and have carguments not  only in a moving vehicle, but out at sea, on a surfboard, OK, maybe not a surfboard. McCarthy, who could be lovingly and affectionately named Mele Maunakea, would surely not don a bikini to go paddling off Waikiki, but her a badge and have her cruising on a waterski in a wetsuit ... she'd be a demon and she'll kick the proverbial butt

Imagine it.

There was no one in my dream to fill the role played by Caan, and yes, he is contracted to stay (especially since he’s the best actor of the current  four-member crime squad), but if McCarthy vacated “Mike and Molly,” there’d only be “Mike,” and what fun would that be? (OK, his mother is one howlingly hilarious matron, but “Mike and Mom” wouldn’t have much appeal). So maybe tonight, I’ll have another  dream, where Mike (Billy Gardel) actually moves over to H50 to be there with Molly, good golly. And if you’re wondering where “Mike and Molly” is on the CBS primetimescape this fall, it isn’t; the network is utilizing Monday for a new block of comedy shows like “Mom,” “We Are Men,” “The Crazy Ones” and “The Millers,” with only “Crazy” (with the zany Robin Williams) with sure footing so far. But: CBS just canceled "We Are Men," a wise decision because it's such a stupid, sophomoric, moronic show with wasted talent; and they're hauling back "M&M" to the Monday sked, juggling the roster, effectively immediately, to regain lost viewers.

“Mike and Molly” was in storage  for a 22-episode season that was to be unconventionally launched in 2014, perhaps hoping that McCarthy will have another hot film by then that will further buoy her fan base when the sitcom materializes again.

But why wait? Book her on H50. Now. She’d bring new blood to partner up with as lead-in to “Blue Blood” on Fridays. She could learn the hula and trek to New York for a crossover case. Heck, Tom Selleck surely must miss our island since his show is filmed on another (Manhattan) island, where hula doesn’t sway or play, and he was a king of procedural dramas in his  heyday as “Magnum, P.I.”

But I digress.  Danno got a new black Camaro this year, since the silver one went kaput in the season’s opener,  and if McCarthy winds up in our paradise, I say give her a Chevy Silverado pickup. She’ll need substantial wheels with ramped up cylinders to varoom across the freeways and byways, and she’s as game and gutsy as they come – remember how she crawled out of a parked sedan in “The Heat”?

I betcha McCarthy would dig Liliha Bakery’s coco puffs and Kamekona’s shrimp truck (and perhaps him, too) and poolside mai tais at the Hilton. But chopper rides to Korea? Not so much.

OK, it was an improbable dream. McCarthy wouldn’t be the worst thing that could happen to the series. Best of all, she wouldn’t be somebody’s cousin or aunt or mother or a long-lost Wo Fat ally. She would amp up the laughs — and maybe help boost the ratings, too.

Somebody, make it happen! Dream or no dream! And wake me up when it's over.

14 Responses to “Could an improbable dream work for 'Hawaii Five-0'?”

  1. hossana:

    HAWAII5-0 should terminate itself and move on into TV graveyard. Anyway, Grace Park would be hard to replace and whatever her reason for not being here for the premiere is none of your business and, to say, that she would be replace by Melissa McCarthy is another abomination to the program adding characters and what not.....i respect both actors decision for whatever reason and I don't fault them but don't try to pawn off that McCarthy and say she would be an adequate replacement for Grace Park.......that's ridiculous on your part and I know you're trying to boost the quality of the show and have it remain but myself and a whole bunch of other people would like it to disappear PERIOD.

  2. FansAreTooDefensive:

    Just a side note: Did you know McCarthy was one of the characters in Alex O'Loughlin's rom com where he starred alongside J Lo, called The Back Up Plan, which was filmed in June and July of 2009 and was released in April of 2010?
    I just thought it was an interesting coincidence you chose her as she and Alex were in that movie together before H50 premiered.

  3. Manoa_Fisherman:

    Summer Glau to replace Park. Much bigger fan base and if the series really hits the crapper, Glau could do a Sci-Fi spinoff. Just the kind of comic book story lines H50 has had for four years.

  4. theDman:

    But Wayne, bringing in McCarthy would likely turn the show into a comedy, or at least a dramedy. It might be what the show needs...but you would never get that past Peter.

    Just think what you COULD do if you had McCarthy and Jorge Garcia together though...

    I wouldn't mind trying to write that, but I think Scott and Alex might be a little uncomfortable with the idea, if you know what I mean?

  5. FansAreTooDefensive:

    LOL Everyone is so busy rewriting the show maybe it should just be canceled-------;-)

  6. Five-O Supporter:

    Mr. Harada - Strange dream, yes. But even more ridiculous for you to propose these ideas as actual changes that would help the show. Seriously? You even contradict suggestions you've made before.

    I guess there's not much else to write about huh?

  7. FansAreTooDefensive:

    5-0 supporter;

    You are right. The show is now so badly written Wayne doesn't have much to write about. And apparently YOU are also bored because you are here reading what HE writes instead of going to your happy H50 place.
    Actually, his article is more interesting than most of H50's episodes. The last one was a REAL sleeper.

  8. AniMatsuri:

    I think the punch line to that dream would be McCarthy gets an Emmy for her role then we find out she hates it here 2X as much than Caan & Park put together. Although after that episode with Alisha Tyler, I wouldn't put be to surprised if they tried to do cross-over show. Would have been great when they were on the same day, but having Mike & Molly start off the story on Monday and then landing in Hawai'i on Friday to end it wouldn't be to bad either.

    All I know is I pretty much found Caan's character annoying from day 1. Won't miss him if leaves before the show does.

    Might have said it before, but ratings wise, Hawai'i doesn't amount to a drop of a drop in the bucket. Watch it, don't watch it, make up funny stories, I doubt the H50 people or CBS will notice.

  9. Five-O Supporter:


    YOU are so hypocritical since you're back here only to chastise me. You're doing the same thing you blasted ME for doing to you a few months back. Good one.

    Still got me on your mind, haha, I missed you too.

    And I won't argue with you anymore. As everyone knows, it's useless to argue with someone who thinks they're always right and so full of themselves.

  10. FansAreTooDefensive:

    HAHAHAHAHA Defensive much, 5-0 supporter? For your information, I am always here. YOU came here to cause trouble and YOU have the nerve to accuse ME of "coming back here"?
    The obvious truth is YOU came HERE where we are because what we say SCARES you. What we say makes you see the flaws of your sacred show.

    I am always here. So why did you come back to blast Wayne? I will tell you why. Because you know what we say has the ring of truth and it worries you. So in your mind, blasting me and Wayne will somehow change the facts.

    We are just saying what most of the USA says. This show is boring and ridiculous now. TNT is crying.

    News flash, 5-0. It doesn't matter what we say or you say. The ratings on TNT and CBS will decide.

    Stop hating people who disagree with you. Get a life away from 5-0.
    You will be a lot happier if your happiness doesn't revolve around the success of 5-0.

  11. FansAreTooDefensive:

    Just saw the cable ratings for this Thursday. Saving my commentary for Wayne's next article. Hint: H50 where are you? LOL

  12. AniMatsuri:

    Saw the ratings too. What can you say about them that you haven't already? It's obvious the ratings aren't there otherwise TNT would be rerunning the heck out of it like cable always does with a hit show, instead of just on Thursdays since they are stuck with it.

  13. FansAreTooDefensive:

    Exactly, Ani! See you on Wayne's next article!

  14. Pammie:

    I dont think this show can be saved. It is done.
    Another week for H50 to make CBS proud. 🙂 L. Not only was nowhere to be found in the 100 most watched cable shows last Thursday but it has dropped again on Friday. 3 episodes= 3 drops. And NBC Grimm is not even back.
    Grimm will beat H50. Guess that will be the last humilliatiin for this remake.

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